Catching up, starting over

(Sorry that this is kind of a ‘messy’ entry… I started writing a few days ago and never finished, so I started rushing through the end to get this posted and move on. It’s just a part of me reorganizing myself.)

Well, then, where has the past week gone? Time is flying by incredibly quickly. I’ll admit that the past week has held its share of challenges for me, and I have had some tougher days. Tuesday through Friday were good days, and I worked on continuing to enjoy the weather. I find that a fantastic motivator to eat well and be active, but then I do find I don’t spend enough time working on the blog and cookbook research. I need to find the balance between the two and then I’ll be good. After all, on the sunny days last week, I was just spending 5-6 hours a day walking. Oops!

My Vibram FiveFingers from last year have finally had it. I have walked hundreds of miles in them…. Honestly maybe even over a thousand. I did a lot of hiking last summer in these ones as well as my commuting. They are just fantastic. I ordered a new pair, and decided to go with the cuter, more feminine mary-jane style instead of the clunkier more athletic ones. Thanks to REI membership… I had 20% off, plus it was free shipping, plus I had dividends so they were only like $50 down from $100ish. But, I hated the style when it came in. It reminds me of pool floaties and may be just fine and as durable, but I think that for the type of walking I do, the closed-in style is better. So I got these ones:

I was a little iffy on the coral color, but now as I relook at them… I’m excited! These are actually pretty awesome. And I’m even more (extremely) excited for the feel of a new pair that’s more sturdy and fresh. Like I said, the ones I have have been through a lot, both on city streets and in the woods. They’ve been in rivers and on rocks. And the walking that I’ve done this year so far has led to nothing but huge painful blisters on the BOTTOM of my feet. Not calluses, but water filled blisters in the bend of my toes where my toes meet my foot (the armpit of your toes, if you will.) I think it’s because of the way I walk that it only happened on my right foot… I think I mentioned before that I have a numbness/tightness to the outside of my right thigh. Well, recently, after switching between the Vibrams and a regular pair of sneakers, I noticed that when wearing regular shoes, I walk on the outside of my foot. Only on the right side. The muscle in my thigh is less engaged which causes my leg to bow out, just a bit. So when in the Vibrams, the stride is corrected and all the right muscles are engaged. This is why that muscle was so sore after walking. I just need to get it stronger. (At least this is all just my deductive reasoning anyway. I recently decided that I’m perfectly tuned in with my body and mind. I do a great job of reading when something changes and what’s different. The only problem is that I’m like, watching the Spanish channel because even though I see the picture, I can’t understand any of it! So now, I’m working on figuring out the “why” behind the way my body … and especially, my mind… work. I think if I know the “why” it can help me understand how easy it is to be in control of it.)

I did okay with food the past week, I really only feel like I overate on Saturday. And even then, it was probably about 25% of the food that my “binge” would have been in the past. Although, throughout the week, I didn’t eat quite as healthy as I would have liked. I did end up getting food on the go a few times. I have to do a bit better planning next week. I’m realizing in the past that I just have no idea how to shop to feed one. I mean, I do, obviously. But I get so stressed out after getting food on the go for a few days and wasting calories, nutrition, and money $$$, I clear out the fridge and go back and stock up! What I need to do, cooking just for myself, is take one to two days at a time and respond to what’s on sale and what’s already at home. Plan just a couple meals at a time. Because then if things do change, much less will go to waste. Its fairly obvious. Especially since the market is only 3/4 mile walk away. And besides, if I’m only planning for a day or two, it’ll be so much easier to carry home while climbing up that hill. 🙂

I did get plenty of exercise in the past week. I did a ton of walking. I think I’m ready to move up to a morning jog/walk combination and then a longer walk in the afternoon. I didn’t do enough yoga though and I am feeling stiff as hell to be quite honest. I think tonight I will spend just slowly stretching out the kinks. It’s a bit windy to wander around town and I’m taking the day to catch up mentally to where I should be with work.

There were a few days that weren’t so good either though… I’ve been dealing with some things that have thrown me for a bit of a loop, and found myself overwhelmed, panicking, and slipping off track in a lot of different ways. Food, alcohol, emotions… I actually smoked cigarettes too. Awful! I’m not a smoker, or was I ever really considered one, but I’ll have a cigarette every now and again socially. I got the American Spirit Organic Mellow… and even those are a little harsh, ha. I think I got that out of my system though, I don’t know what came over me.

Anyway, at this point, the most important thing I’m trying to do is get a firm dig on my heels into the earth so I don’t slip any further. It’s taking a lot of effort. I wish it didn’t have to always be this hard. But at least I’m finding and using my tools. I dipped pretty low Sunday through Tuesday, but now I’m getting back on track. I find that even though I’m moving at a snail’s speed in rebuilding myself to functioning again, I think I’m doing it in a very healthy way. It’s the same as with weight loss. Slow and steady for permanent healthy change. I think I might actually be ready to sit down and accomplish some serious stuff next week in the way of my self-education and really getting started with Sprout Out Loud. It’s so embarrassing that it has taken me six months since stepping down from my full-time job to get to this place. But it’s done, so now, I just move forward positively.

Today I have been working on reorganizing and regrouping myself, putting a plan in place to really tackle stuff next week. I’m trying to regrasp some of the motivation and organization I used to have when I worked the busiest job ever as a marketing manager and I used to somehow cram 14 hours a day of work into 8 hours. One big thing I did was have several lists going at all times so I could just squeeze in and accomplish things on those lists. I would also set time limits for certain projects or map out my day on how long I should put towards each one. One big thing I need to do is work on my obsessive compulsive tendencies when it comes to cleaning. Some days, I spend 4 hours cleaning before I can even get started on my work, and it’s not necessary! A few minutes each day and then a weekly detailed cleaning is plenty. Balance – isn’t that the absolute bottom line?

I’m also going to be changing my approach to blogging. Currently, I’ve been going for more of a timeline kind of thing, but that’s not what I’m really trying to accomplish… what I’ve ended up doing is having days where there’s nothing really enough to constitute an entry, but then I don’t write at all. Instead, I’m going to start writing on specific topics and making sure something gets posted every day as I begin to expand my mind and really through myself into the work on sprouting and the work on myself. I think this will help reinforce the knowledge and growth and it will make for a better and more interesting (and more consistently updated!) blog.

My focus moving forward will be on living foods (sprouted, raw, etc). I should be clear that as I am working on this blog and these recipes, that I’m doing everything from scratch (almost). I have general understanding but I’m looking to delve much deeper into the benefits on a physiological level, mental connection with food, and most importantly to me – how to keep up this lifestyle while sticking to some kind of a budget. I am ridiculously terrible at budgeting, and when it comes to food expenses, I’ve far from nailed it down as I mentioned earlier. So while I delve deeper, I’m also going to be looking for ways to save money. And lots of meal planning!

I’m just going to end this entry with a few photos…. Cut ties and move on and start fresh with this on Monday!

 

Picnic table in my backyard, with purple wisteria vine canopy!! This has smelled so good over the past week and the cute bumblebees have been super aflutter.

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The archway into the second half of the backyard.

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My cinderblock raised veggie garden… I have okra, spinach, broccoli, carrots, radishes, chard, beans, and cucumbers attempting to grow. I got kind of a late start in planting, but not too bad. As of this morning (1 week after planting), I’ve got a few radish sprouts peeking through! I’m going to give it a couple weeks and if nothing really takes, I might just work on growing flowers this year instead. Even if they’re edible flowers and herbs only, I hear those are easier to grow and I’m a first-timer. It was nice to see the sunlight exposure this area was getting though.

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I found this other spot to sit in in my backyard near this cinderblock garden that’s very comfortable, secluded, and gets great sunlight. It’s also blocked from most of the wind so I have a feeling I’ll set up camp sometimes out here during the day for reading and meditating. 🙂

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Fiddleheads at Borderlands State Park in Easton, MA! I did the disc golf course in completion with my friend Hal last Friday. It was beautiful and sunny and a great workout to hike through the woods for a few hours. There were beautiful wild fiddlehead ferns growing everywhere, which is making me hungry to eat some!

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